Every single time I make a post or talk about Asher, I get so many of the same responses. “Y’all are great parents.” “You and Randy are doing a great job with your kids,” Don’t get me wrong, I love hearing/reading that. I do have a feeling of guilt though. Am I doing what I should be doing? You boys get to see me at my ugliest. I can get caught up in Mom Mode. I want the wet towels picked up. I don’t want you to yell “What?” when I holler for you from downstairs. I want there to be bottled water in the fridge. This is all very important stuff, boys. Since our family specializes in sarcasm, I know you understand me. It is really NOT what matters.
You boys are living a special life. You are blessed to have a brother that makes you feel and think in ways that most kids don’t have to. Asher has opened up a part of your hearts that you may never have known was there- at least not at your age. I want to cry (sometimes I do) when one of you helps him without being asked or when you show grace and patience when he’s done something cringe-worthy. When you’re not looking, I am watching each of you interact with him. I can, honestly, say that I have never seen an eye roll or heard a huff from any of you when things have to be adjusted for Asher. These are some of my proudest moments. It’s not a strike thrown or a charge taken. It’s not the Honor Roll or a class award. It’s not the construction of a massive Lego set or teaching the dog to sit. IT IS your spirit and your heart.
I think about the day when you will bring home “that girl,” and she’ll fall in love with Asher. It will take the perfect one, so choose wisely. When you have your own children, you will love in ways that you never imagined. I think you will look at your kids differently because of Asher. You each are learning patience and understanding. You are also learning what it looks like when I get to the end of my rope. You have seen my heartache and frustrations. I hope you have also seen a set of parents that will do whatever it takes to push Asher towards progress.
Each of you is different. Each of you is talented. You have interests. You have dreams. You share your smiles, heart breaks, and love with me every day. I know I have great kids. WE know we have great kids. Your parents aren’t perfect, but I know that you will never for one second doubt that our love for you is unsurpassable.
I want to thank each of you for being you. No one would blame you for being jerks about some of the situations concerning Asher. I’m beyond ecstatic that I have the best kids on the planet. I know that’s due to the combination of parents, grandparents, family, friends, and God. ❤️
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