The Loving Push

Routines, routines . . . Isn't that what is recommended for a kid? Breakfast, playtime, lunch, nap, snack, supper, bathtime, reading, and finally, bedtime. REPEAT.

It all sounds good, but it isn't what's best for Asher. He needs to be pushed out of his box. The more he is exposed to, the better off he'll be. I read this article last week by Dr. Temple Grandin. She is a major advocate in the world of Autism. My friend, Stephanie, sent me the same article today. I thought it was worth touching on.

Children on the spectrum need to be challenged. They should be out of their comfort zone a lot. Many times, they prefer to be isolated, but the more exposure they have to the outside world, the better. Randy and I had a conversation about this. What does Asher do that allows him to experience new things?

Some things may seem minute, but they are impactful in Asher's life. Many Autistic kids are perfectly content with staying home and staring at an Ipad all day. I, personally, feel like this allows them to retreat further into their own world. We have to make Ash feel like our world is his world. We invite him to join us.

♡He eats at a table.
♡He goes to restaurants.
♡He visits family outside of our home.
♡He goes shopping with me.
♡We introduce him to new foods.
♡He goes to therapy at our home and at a facility.
♡We play- inside, outside, in a pool, at a park, in Legoland...

Like I said, some things are small, but they are so BIG. These things are making a difference in this boy's life. We will continue that loving push to get the best of him.

He was giggling about his "shark hair." It wasn't about the hair. He was laughing because I was laughing.

This is big-- HUGE. 

 This is at Legoland about a month ago. Today, he will look at me for a picture. That is such a change in a month's time, y'all!

http://blog.theautismsite.com/cs-loving-push-asd/?utm_source=aut-autaware&utm_medium=social-fb&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=cs-loving-push-asd&origin=aut-autaware_social_fb_link_cs-loving-push-asd

This Is Asher

Look at him. Really zoom in if you want. This is Asher. This is the boy that we are fighting against all odds to help. He's easy to love.

I'm so proud of this picture because he has a light in his eyes. I'm seeing this look more and more. He is making more eye contact. He is understanding more. He is way more than a boy with Autism.

When he looks at me like this, it changes my day. It makes the crazy things he does better because I see HIS light at the end of a tunnel. We're getting closer.

These pictures are also Asher. He's a mess maker, a climber, and a dare devil.

  This is what makes our lives interesting, overwhelming, and hard---unbearable, at times. Then, there is that light...

Overwhelmed and Under Medicated

Being a parent is hard, tiring work. It's a stressful,  worrisome job. I have Type A personality. It makes parenting extra stressful. I need order and structure. I don't lose my mind over chaos. I have 4 boys, so it's inevitable. I like organized chaos though. It's good that Randy is more laid back. I think that it's hard for him to understand my stress. He has stress too, but he is much better at handling it.

I'll be real with y'all. After dealing with Asher's antics and learning of his diagnosis, I was about to lose it. I am currently taking anxiety medication. I have had to up the dosage once and I still don't feel like I am under control. Lol.

I get worked up over the smallest things. Yesterday, I took Asher to see a lady about Essential Oils. I have known this lady my entire life. She is a mother and grandmother. I met her at her home and I was, literally, sweating with worry about Asher breaking something. She gave me some EO for Asher and some for me too. When I got in my truck to leave, I was shaking. I am a nervous wreck a lot.

I have chewed the inside of my mouth to shreds. I just had a 3-day long migraine. I am nauseous at times. I sigh, nervously ramble, and tear up. My emotions are everywhere. Whew, I am a mess.

I'm making it though. I'm in a lot of prayers. My kids are awesome and my husband still loves me. Asher is making some progress and I'm thankful for all of that. I need a clear head and to keep my crazy in check. Sleep deprivation, gaining 15 lbs, schedules, dr. appointments...The thought of this continued anxiety and worry is daunting. Will this ever get better?

How can this angel stress me?💙

My mom took Asher to therapy, and I am, ironically, typing about stress while sitting by a pool😒

If Love Was a Cure

I read a blog written by a mother with an Autistic son. Her son is almost 7 years old. She describes him as on the severe end of the spectrum. He's nonverbal and not potty trained. She is starting in-home ABA* therapy, a new diet, and new supplements. She is ahead of me in this life of Autism.  I find comfort in a lot of what she says because many of her struggles are my struggles too.

I watched a video she posted of some "critics" accusing her of trying to CURE her son of Autism. She explains that she's not trying to cure him, she's trying to make his life better. My heart sank because I'm still in cure-mode. I am thinking that this early intervention will cure this baby. Is that even logical?  I have always described Asher as being on the mild end of the spectrum. Is he though?

He's nonverbal, but I think he will speak. He doesn't have meltdowns, he's social, he's loving... Where does that put him on this imaginary spectrum? How big is this freaking thing? Am I being realistic?

Will I be where she is in 4 years? My family has a long road of questions and trials. There are always more questions to be answered and we are finding that many of the answers are not what we want. We are also finding that many questions don't have answers. I don't like waiting to see what happens.  This is the most bizarre life. I go from encouraged and energized to helpless and hopeless in a minute's time. Uuuugghhh!!!

I pretend a lot and I also breakdown a lot. I am strong, but I am SO WEAK. I'm starting to see that this isn't a phase, but it is a life--my life, his life, our lives.

*ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) The approach breaks desirable behaviors down into steps and rewards the child for completing each step.

This is a great blog. She started with no readers and now, she has thousands. 

https://www.findingcoopersvoice.com/

How can this sleeping baby be so complicated?💙

Bro Code

I'm extremely wishy washy when it comes to Asher and his diagnosis. One minute I'm thankful and the next, I'm depressed. Today, at this moment, I'll focus on thankful.

Nothing is easy. Everything worries me. I'm stressed. I'm tired. Then, I see my boys and the way they are with their brother. That is what I'm thankful for today.

When Asher was born, Jackson had a strong bond with him. He wanted to hold him and look at him. He wouldn't say anything to him. When I told him to talk to him, he asked, "What do I say?" He's learned his language now. He wrestles with him and plops him on the couch. Asher rarely cries, but he'll cry for Jackson.

Riley calls Asher "lard." Lol. I know that sounds terrible, but he was a chunky baby and Riley means nothing but love when he says it. Riley gets Asher to throw a mini basketball in the goal and he commentates like he made the winning shot in Game 7.

Knox is as tough as they come, but not with Asher. He is always helping him down from wherever he's climbed. I swear he says,"Mom, look at Asher!!" 50 times a day. He guides Asher around by the shoulders. Asher hates it, but Knox keeps on being a mother hen to him.

It could be different. They could not want to understand him. They could go about their lives and never have a brotherly bond with him. That could be easy to do especially because Ash is so frustrating at times. They aren't that way though. It's good. It's what makes me and their daddy proud.

"How much like my brothers do my brothers wanna be?...Does it wash out in the water or is it always in the blood?"
                        John Mayer

I'm thinking it's in the blood.