Overwhelmed and Under Medicated

Being a parent is hard, tiring work. It's a stressful,  worrisome job. I have Type A personality. It makes parenting extra stressful. I need order and structure. I don't lose my mind over chaos. I have 4 boys, so it's inevitable. I like organized chaos though. It's good that Randy is more laid back. I think that it's hard for him to understand my stress. He has stress too, but he is much better at handling it.

I'll be real with y'all. After dealing with Asher's antics and learning of his diagnosis, I was about to lose it. I am currently taking anxiety medication. I have had to up the dosage once and I still don't feel like I am under control. Lol.

I get worked up over the smallest things. Yesterday, I took Asher to see a lady about Essential Oils. I have known this lady my entire life. She is a mother and grandmother. I met her at her home and I was, literally, sweating with worry about Asher breaking something. She gave me some EO for Asher and some for me too. When I got in my truck to leave, I was shaking. I am a nervous wreck a lot.

I have chewed the inside of my mouth to shreds. I just had a 3-day long migraine. I am nauseous at times. I sigh, nervously ramble, and tear up. My emotions are everywhere. Whew, I am a mess.

I'm making it though. I'm in a lot of prayers. My kids are awesome and my husband still loves me. Asher is making some progress and I'm thankful for all of that. I need a clear head and to keep my crazy in check. Sleep deprivation, gaining 15 lbs, schedules, dr. appointments...The thought of this continued anxiety and worry is daunting. Will this ever get better?

How can this angel stress me?💙

My mom took Asher to therapy, and I am, ironically, typing about stress while sitting by a pool😒