A Change Is Coming

Eeekkkk! So excited!

ABA therapy is the "go to" therapy for children with Autism. What is it exactly? Good question.

"ABA is the applied use of behavioral principles to everyday situations with the goal of either increasing or decreasing targeted behaviors." Um, in short, Asher will be taught appropriate behaviors and those behaviors will be reinforced in a structured environment-- like a school. This therapy should also be reinforced in our home. It's the go-to therapy that isn't conveniently located near me.

This is what happened when I googled ABA near me:

These places aren't near me.  Why isn't there something closer? Why do I have to drive an hour to get Asher what he needs? I know there is a need for it in our area. Many questions, but no good answers.

I found a place that is just starting a preschool. He can get everything there-- speech, PT, OT, AND ABA.  We found this place because Randy and I were not content. Asher needed more, so we searched and found it. There is an ABA therapist on site. This therapist will use applied behavior analysis as a form of treatment. She will study his behavior in order to put into place appropriate behavioral interventions. I'm looking forward to Asher doing simple things--using a fork, leaving his clothes on, picking up toys, replying to commands...

Today was the Open House. It.was.precious!! It was located in a house. There will only be 4 students, each with varying capabilities. It was cozy. There were little chairs and little tables. There were learning supplies and toys. There was a cute little kitchen. There was love. The therapists loved Asher and he even drew a picture while we were chatting. We are all so excited about this new chapter. I just know that he is going to soar in this school.

Prayers for all of us as we make this adjustment to our lives. 💙

We're calling this "Asher's Heart." It's from his Blue Period 💙😊

This is his school! How cute!!

(Terrible pic of us. Photo creds:Dad)

Atypical is Typical, Basically...

Busy, busy, busy. Yep, that's the life of every parent. There is so much to do, so much going on, so much running around, and so much that never gets completed. That's how it is for me, anyway. I get moments throughout the week where I find time to write a blog, make a FB post, or watch a recorded Housewives episode. Now, it may take several of these moments to complete any one of these tasks, but I manage to get it finished. Usually.

Today, my mom has Asher. He didn't have therapy. She is just giving me a break. My plan was to go through Knox's clothes. (That boy is growing so fast.) I also wanted to watch a new show on Netflix. The episodes seem short and I thought I could breeze through them as I worked. The show is called Atypical. It's about the life of a high school boy with Autism. I know that every child on the spectrum is different and many of the scenarios seem a little unrealistic, but I'm still learning from this show.

What am I learning? Well, this boy, Sam Gardner, is a senior in high school and his parents and sibling still struggle. They struggle, but they keep going. I don't agree with some of the methods that they resort to, but I'll take it as a lesson and not a recommendation of how to handle things. One of my favorite things about this show is that Sam's sister is fiercely supportive of him. She still treats him as a "typical" sister would, but she stands up for him. I love that. I spoke recently to one of Jackson's former teachers. She told me that I would have nothing to worry about when it came to Jackson and Asher. He's the type of kid that would always be supportive of his little brother. I find a little of Jackson in Sam's sister.

I am also learning the lingo and what is socially acceptable. Ok, I never thought about it, but I know I have referred to Asher as my "Autistic son." This doesn't happen in everyday situations. It's usually while I'm making an appointment or talking to a therapist. There was a scene in the show where an Autism Support Group criticized a parent for this. They said they prefer to use the child before the diagnosis. So, you should say "my son with Autism." I know I'm not to this point. I don't even know enough to be this particular about the wording of a sentence. It's just interesting to know it's out there.

I'm looking forward to a show coming out in the fall on ABC. It's about a doctor with Autism. **See what I did there?** There are many critics of shows like these, but I feel like I can find little nuggets of knowledge in them. Maybe others will too and the negative stigma of Autism will become a bit less. That has to be a good thing, right?

I can't say that things are getting easier in my busy life. People tell me that it will. That is to be determined, but the future is promising for my little guy.  Even the world of television is becoming more inclusive.

Here is a clip of Atypical:
https://youtu.be/ieHh4U-QYwU

Here is a picture of typical Asher:

Locked In

For the first time in a while, I had a full breakdown. I've felt it coming, but I just didn't have time for it. My head is spinning. There is too much to figure out about Asher. I try to make myself believe that everything will be fine. He'll catch up. He'll understand me.

I find myself saying, "Did it sound like he said..." I want someone to hear it too, so that I can cling to that little hope. I get excited over the smallest of tasks completed only to find that he never completes it again.

Even after all of this, I'm still in denial. This has been the hardest year of my life. It has only been 1 year though. I can't do this forever, but what choice do I have?

I am grieving for the 3 year old that I expected to have. It's overwhelming. Every single day is a challenge. He should be potty trained. He should be speaking. He should be able to sit, to walk, to live without it being such a struggle.

He got up at 4:45 this morning, and he's acting like a maniac. He's going from one thing to another. He's throwing things, taking his clothes off, making messes, and running around non-stop. Nothing has changed from his usual routine.  What is making today a disaster? This is my dilemma every.damn.day. Asher totally dictates how my day will go. His behavior trickles down to the rest of my family-- good or bad.

Last week, Ash learned to unlock the doors. We have 3 doors leading to outside. Yesterday, we had locks installed to keep Houdini from escaping. Problem solved, right? Well, he is running from door to door trying to escape. It makes my alarm beep. He is jerking on the doors and screaming in frustration. I know the feeling, Asher. I'm screaming too.

Typical Tuesday

I revealed to my little FB world today about Asher's dirty deeds. He's a poop smearer. I don't want to relive all of the details because I know all too well there will be another version of this day. It may be worse; it may not be as bad. That's up to Asher, I guess.

I had comments and messages on my video. Lots of suggestions were made and I made some great connections with people. That is the main reason for all of this. I am getting advice and getting therapy too. Sometimes I write it down or make a video to make sure this is not just a dream. Like, did this really just happen to me??

As the day ends, I feel much better. I spoke with my momma today after the fiasco. She knows this kid and can picture exactly how it all went down. She knows me too. She knows that while I was laughing today, I also cry. She tries her best to calm me down and tell me that it's all ok--that we will survive this. She also reminds me that tomorrow is Wednesday and she will be with my dad to pick Asher up for therapy. 🙏

All I can say is that it could be worse. Asher is still my angel. Yes, we had a shitty day, but that was TODAY and tomorrow is TOMORROW.

THE CHAIR!!

MY TURD!!

How could I stay mad at this face?!?!