Perfectly Placed

I don't have a junk drawer. If I don't need it, I don't keep it. My attic only contains my Christmas tree. My storage closet has folded linens, pictures, and gift bags. That's it. That's how I like it.

I began to notice a trend with Asher. He started making a small pile of objects everyday. He was very particular about his pile. Only certain objects were selected and he placed each one with intent.  I researched why he was doing this and if it was a common feature of children with Autism. It is well known that children on the spectrum line up objects. That's often one of the first signs for many parents. What is not known is the issue of hoarding.

In Asher's case, he makes piles of things. If I move something from the pile, he will adjust it. He tries to carry the entire mess at once. I try to help him and he keeps his eyes on me to make sure that I have the objects. What are the objects? Some of them remain constant and some of them change from day to day. Right now his pile consists of several Mickey Mouse figurines, a sippy cup, a bowl, DVD w/ cover, play dishes, 2 tv remotes, and his favorite book turned to a particular page. WHEW!

He will also add shoes, phones, wrappers, and anything else he feels is important to him. His pile is small compared to many. I follow the story of a child who hoarded over 200 objects. There was a purpose for each of them. His mother had weeded it down to around 50. It's amazing how their minds work. 💙

Why are these important to him? In short,  Mickey has been his #1 from day 1. He kisses the figurines and even stands them up to face him. He associates the shoes with Randy or the boys playing outside. The wrapper is usually from a pack of gummies that he gets for a treat. So, you see, he is not hoarding just random junk.

Why does he do this? As I have read, I began to understand that everything he gathers means something to him. It is hard for Asher to control his world. It's overwhelming. Life is spinning around him and it makes it hard for him to focus. He focuses on these objects and it is a source of comfort for him. It totally makes sense now. He makes a pile and he often looks back at the pile while he's playing. It's like a child with a special blanket. It gives him peace.

Initially, I wanted to put the stuff away. I picked it all up, put the toys in the basket, wrappers in the trash, and dishes in the washer. As I have delved deeper into the issue, I don't do it anymore. It may all look like chaos, but there is definitely a method to his madness. He's brilliant.

Asher has a sink full of his favorite things.

He wouldn't go to school without them, so they went along for the ride.

He loves this stuff!❤💙

Unexpected Reality Check

While Asher was at school today, I decided to roam around Target. I was minding my own business picking out dog food when I saw something I had never seen before. A lady was pushing a cart with a seat in the front. I thought that was great that Target made accommodations for its customers. It only took me a moment to realize that she was pushing her son.

I would never claim to have enough knowledge to diagnose someone as Autistic, but he was. He was around 16 years old. He had dark hair. His head was down focusing on his iPad. He wore noise-cancelling headphones. He was being pushed around the store by his mother with his siblings in tow.

I wanted to stop the mother and ask her so many questions. Instead, I asked her if she got the cart up front. She told me that she had and there was only one like it. I started to cry, so I headed to the toy section. There are usually some crying kids over there. I'd fit right in with them.

That mother used to be me. She worried about her baby. I bet she had a lot of questions and not many answers. She probably had the same hope I have. I'm sure her faith was tested a time or two. Here she is now and her baby is a teenager. She's at the point now in her son's life that the worry is over. She knows the answer. It is what it is. There is no going back and I worry that she is living my future.

Even with all that Asher has accomplished this year, I am still scared. I'm scared for his future. I want him to come out of this. I want the world to know who he was meant to be. He's a smart, sweet boy and he there is no telling what he will do.

I know that Asher, the way he is, is changing my world, Randy's world, and our boys' world. We expect him to thrive. We expect him be a difference maker. I don't want him to struggle. It's heartbreaking.

Hurry Up and Wait

I am not a patient person. I am working on that. My patience has never been tested more than it has been over the last year.  Any parent trying to help their Autistic child learns quickly that there is a WAIT factor. We have to wait for everything. This completely goes against all that I strive to be. I don't like loose ends. I like nice, neat ends tied in a double knot.

The first thing we waited for was for Asher to turn 2. Our pediatrician wanted him to be 2 years old before beginning anything. I had him back at the dr. at 2 years and 3 days old. After our appointment, we scheduled therapy but still had no diagnosis. That year was tough for me. I felt like I couldn't move forward. There were so many unknowns. I researched. I asked questions. I contacted people I didn't know. I searched for a place or a person that could give me answers. 

Nothing is easy in this process. Nothing moves fast enough for me. We wait for appointments, referrals, prescriptions, and progress. Today, we waited on medication. We have had this prescription filled for Asher for several months. I don't know what the deal was. This medication was prescribed to my son by a neurologist. The pharmacy wanted permission from the dr. to give us the medicine. I thought that's what a prescription was. Duh. Like, they, seriously, would not hand Randy the medicine. It was not really a surprise though. Everything is an ordeal. 

The past 2 weeks have been good. I feel like we are moving forward. We have a plan and we are executing it. Asher has more structured therapy and his day is jam packed with learning. I still have those big, life-long questions about Asher that can't be answered yet. But, you know what they say-- good things come to those who wait. 💙😊❤

My Conqueror

Carpe diem. That's Asher. He seizes the day, every day. Granted, his day may begin at 2 or 3 am, but you can guarantee that he makes the most of every second of it.

Asher is an occasional snuggler. He has brief moments where he wants to sit in my lap or beside me. We never touch at night though. He doesn't want a blanket or a pillow. Sometimes after he falls asleep, I hold him. He doesn't know, but I do.

As soon as his eyes open in the morning, he slides off the bed, turns on the light, walks out of the bedroom, and shuts the door. (He's a door shutter/slammer.) If I'm lucky, he'll take a nap at some point, but every waking second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, HE IS MOVING. That is no exaggeration. He hits the ground running.

Randy said to me the other day that there is not a happier child in the world. I have to agree. He makes the most of what he's doing every day. There is a lesson here for me. Things are not easy for him. He doesn't care. It's his life. It's all he knows. He is happy and I am grateful for that happiness. He conquers every day like a dang soldier. He is the epitome of living life to the fullest. He's teaching me to fight for a good day. He doesn't realize that his momma struggles.

Asher goes about his business. He has to put prints on windows, and I have windows to clean. He has foods to be picky about, and I have to find what he'll eat. He has water to splash while taking a shower, and I have shaving cream to spray for him to smear everywhere.  We always have a busy day and he always has a great one. When he gets ready to give out hugs and kisses,  I am there with my arms open and lips puckered!

He's kind of my hero. Today, my soldier went to school. He walked in like a big boy. After he explored the room, he took off his socks and shoes. He looked me right in the eyes and kissed me goodbye. I'm nervous for him, but I know he's going to have a perfect day. He always does.

Shape shirt and weather wheel

Looking adorable

Touching every color

Only 5 hours of worry...