Unexpected Reality Check

While Asher was at school today, I decided to roam around Target. I was minding my own business picking out dog food when I saw something I had never seen before. A lady was pushing a cart with a seat in the front. I thought that was great that Target made accommodations for its customers. It only took me a moment to realize that she was pushing her son.

I would never claim to have enough knowledge to diagnose someone as Autistic, but he was. He was around 16 years old. He had dark hair. His head was down focusing on his iPad. He wore noise-cancelling headphones. He was being pushed around the store by his mother with his siblings in tow.

I wanted to stop the mother and ask her so many questions. Instead, I asked her if she got the cart up front. She told me that she had and there was only one like it. I started to cry, so I headed to the toy section. There are usually some crying kids over there. I'd fit right in with them.

That mother used to be me. She worried about her baby. I bet she had a lot of questions and not many answers. She probably had the same hope I have. I'm sure her faith was tested a time or two. Here she is now and her baby is a teenager. She's at the point now in her son's life that the worry is over. She knows the answer. It is what it is. There is no going back and I worry that she is living my future.

Even with all that Asher has accomplished this year, I am still scared. I'm scared for his future. I want him to come out of this. I want the world to know who he was meant to be. He's a smart, sweet boy and he there is no telling what he will do.

I know that Asher, the way he is, is changing my world, Randy's world, and our boys' world. We expect him to thrive. We expect him be a difference maker. I don't want him to struggle. It's heartbreaking.