Pity Party of 1

Basically, I'm sick to death of this topic. I'm tired of reading about it. I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm tired of talking about it. I made a video today. I almost didn't post it. I'm sick of myself. Guess what--This is not going away. Autism really takes over your whole damn life.

My parents took Asher to school today. I had a great day until around noon. I've just let my mind get the better of me. I'm so emotional that I've given myself a headache from crying. I keep trying to talk myself into just accepting this and moving forward. I can't though. I'm wallowing in it.

I started these blogs and embarrassing videos to help myself and, hopefully, help others. I don't want to be a spokesperson anymore. I see everyone's babies talking and doing things that I don't know if Asher will ever do. I'm disgustingly jealous.

I get so excited over a word spoken and he doesn't say it again. I try to get him to repeat what he said at school or home. He won't. I know this, but what do I do? I text family and tell them what he said. I make a big deal in a Facebook post.  I don't want to let myself be happy about it because it's more heartbreaking when it doesn't happen again. I'm getting good at pretending.

The only bright spot is Asher. I feel like there is a cloud hovering above me, but he continues to shine.

Ok, Liz. You just threw a big ole pity party. Get it together.

 I'll do better tomorrow.

This bucket made him so happy. If only...

Fall Fallout

Fall is here and with that comes a new group of issues for Asher. Asher has sensory issues that make him uncomfortable in clothes. He does not like to wear clothes. As the weather gets cooler, this is going to be a problem.

Asher does not like his pants below the knee. He started walking bent over because he was holding his pajama pants above his knees. I felt terrible for him. I made it my mission to find LuLaRoe leggings for him. They are super soft and recommended by moms of children with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). I put them on him and he immediately pulled them above his knees. The good thing was that he didn't have to hold them up. They are pretty fitted and stayed up on their own. Sometimes he does the same thing with long sleeves. He pushes the sleeves above his elbows. 😕

Honestly, if he was potty trained. I'd let him be naked while we are at home. It's kind of heartbreaking. You have never seen a child so happy to have his clothes off. It's just not feasible. I know many of you parents have stories of having a kid that loved to run around in a diaper or be naked. Let me tell you. It's not the same thing. I feel like he is in a constant state of agitation.

How will he get over this? Will he get over this? Are we working toward an unattainable goal? This is just another mystery in Asher's world. So, we wait.

I did order jumpsuits for him to wear under his clothes. Hopefully, those will prevent a lot of things. They better. Almost $40 a piece X 7 days a week. Add it up, people. Companies are making a killing on special needs products. It's shocking. That's another blog for another day.

Wish me luck as fall leads into winter🍁🍂❄☃️

Leggings on... for now!💙

Kryptonite? We shall see😑