We are in a fight for Asher. Depending on the day, we are fighting the doctors, insurance companies, society, and ourselves. Nothing comes easy with this kid. It’s a struggle to keep him dressed. Food is an issue. Safety, medicine, essential oils, probiotics, therapy, research, questions— all fights. There are many days that my battles happen within my head. I hold it in and move on with my day, but sometimes it sneaks out for everyone to see. Today, for instance, it sneaked out in a bookstore.
Little did the lady at the register know what she was in for when she casually asked, “Did you find everything you needed today?” **No ma’am. I sure didn’t.**After my explanation of there not being any books for kids about Autism, I burst into tears. Blubbering sobs. I needed my $1.14 change so that I could get the heck outta there. Poor thing. She asked if I had a support group.
At the end of each day, I can feel it. It feels like I was in a fight. My mind is tired. I’m agitated. I know the next day will be more of the same. I can see how people lose hope in their struggle.
With all of this, there is love. That’s the easy part. My goodness, this kid is so easy to love. Those eyes. Those dimples. That giggle. That’s why God gave him these things. He knew that when he gave me Asher, I would struggle. He knew I had a big mouth and that I would not be satisfied or content with anything other than what only a fight can bring.
So, yes, it is hard. Most of the time I still can’t believe that I’m in the middle of this journey. But, when the dust settles just a little bit, I can see clearly. I’ve never minded a good brawl. I’m not going to start now when it is most important.
*April is Autism Awareness Month.. April 2 is Autism Awareness Day. Wear blue, talk to your kids or students, acknowledge someone’s struggles, say a prayer-Do something to bring awareness. Don’t let me fight alone. I’m getting jumped, y’all! 💙
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