There are no hard feelings about his school closing. I am so happy for his teacher and the exciting things coming up for her family. Life changes for people. It’s just difficult when it changes for Asher. We finally had everything in order and we were cruising along. Change for him makes me nervous. There is so much to worry about. When things like this happen, the fact that he is nonverbal and can’t express himself, scares me. Believe it or not, I want him to tattle. I want to hear the good stuff, but I’m always concerned about the bad stuff.
We found a new school for him. We visited. Everyone was nice and knowledgeable. He’s going to love this school in the country. He’ll love playing outside. I’m curious to see how he reacts to chickens. It had a homey feeling- which we loved. We asked tons of questions and I feel comfortable that he’s going to do great. BUT- so much swirls around in this momma’s head. This gets me in trouble. I think about things that are beyond my control. He won’t be able to tell me that’s he’s nervous. He won’t understand that I am. Will he think I’m leaving and not coming back? All of my kids have gone to daycare, preschool, and started school. I can’t even explain how different this is. It’s just a lot.
Anyway, this is a messy little post. My mind always goes to a dark place when dealing with the unknown. Leave it to me to not focus on all of the new friends he’ll make. He’ll have amazing therapists and make tons of progress. He’ll have a smile when I pick him up. I ALMOST know all of this. I give myself a headache. Ugh, I’m dramatic.
Say a prayer for all of the good things Asher deserves. Say a prayer for his nervous parents.
I asked in my prayer journal for us to fall in love with the Lighthouse Center for Autism.
So far, so good.
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