All Eyes On Me...Or Is It Him?

On Mondays Asher has therapy for 3 hours at a facility about 40 miles from our home. I usually walk every aisle of Wal-Mart and very slowly buy groceries. Today, I went to the nail salon and then quickly bought groceries. In the salon, I sat next to a lady and she started telling me that she worked at a school with special needs kids. I swallowed hard and I stuttered that my son is Autistic. It's hard. When I say those words I  #1)  am still in shock of this reality AND #2)  open myself up for questions and judgement. Well, I didn't get any #2. Lol. She was super sweet and we talked about my other boys. I told her they were helpful and loving to Asher. She began to explain how lucky I am to have these boys. She said that she has seen so many siblings of special needs kids that ignore and shun them. They are embarrassed of them. This seriously broke my heart. If anything, my boys would do the opposite for their brother. I have worried about how they would react to people being negative.

When I first explained to the boys that Asher was Autistic, I was worried about their reaction and the reaction of their peers. Everyday I asked them, "did anyone say anything?" I know that Knox is young. Most first graders are more understanding than adults can be. I wasn't too worried about him. Jackson and Riley are at the age when kids are seriously mean. I used to be a mean ole attitude having teenager. Sometimes, I'm still that girl. (I try, I try.) I also taught middle and high school for a number of years. I ain't no dummy to the ways of kids their age. There were a couple of remarks, but nothing too bad. In a way, I feel like putting it all out there will give people a chance to learn and not be ignorant about behaviors they see out in public from toddlers, older children, and even adults.

I don't think that anyone who knows me would describe me as meek and mild. I'm not that girl.

I have worried about myself when it comes to the way people perceive me, my family, and Asher.  That is kind of surprising to me because I am normally not that way. I know that my kids see my reactions to everything dealing with Ash. I have to go against my nature and be soft and try to understand that people are people and they are not perfect. 

I think everyone is doing good so far. I know that as Asher gets older, some of his quirks won't be cute to people.  We'll probably get more stares and comments. BTW- he started crossing his fingers this weekend. I just look at him and think he's hoping for something😊

Knox's school happened to have an Autism Awareness week last week. I helped Knox write down what he wanted them to know about his brother. He presented it to the class. Maybe I'm looking to my kids for how I should act.