I'm with Asher the most. Everyone knows that. I am his #1 caretaker. It's stressful. I have anxiety issues. It's all day, every day. I think that when people hear of a special needs child, they think if his mom. I understand. I do the same thing. You think of a mother's heart and the love she has for her child. I don't think dads get enough credit for their love.
When Randy isn't with him physically, he is mentally. He handles all of the insurance, bills, and forms. There are a lot of them. It's stressful to be a full-time advocate, have a full-time job, be a full-time husband, and still have the energy to be a full-time, hands-on dad.
Most guys dream of having a little boy. They want someone to carry on the family name. They want to throw catch with him. They want to teach him "guy stuff." We are so happy to have 4 boys, but with that, comes the heartache this dad feels. He has a son that is not typical. Will he get to experience the things his brothers have? We don't know. Dad's get heartbroken. Dad's get disappointed. Dad's get worried. Dad's cry.
Our situation is not ideal, but it is our reality. I get annoyed when Randy has no patience after only being home an hour or two. I get aggravated when he falls asleep in the chair at night. Along with my other motherly and wifely duties, I have taken care of Asher all day. I admit that I get in my feelings quite often. I should never forget that Randy has been stressing too. He is working and wondering and thinking about our family. He is dreaming of what it could be and of how it may never be.
So, to my babies' daddy, you are appreciated and loved. We are in this together. Let's dream new dreams and make them all come true. XOXO
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